Well hey!
In the last few months i lost my house, i moved into a new victorian conversion (smaller, not happy about it), dealt with my insane and frustrated cat, went through a mid-life crisis, just to be told my mother is surely dying in not so uncertain terms. Oh, i forgot. my best friend has breast cancer and has lost the most beautiful blonde hair completely, my other best friend almost lost her ear (and brain) due to an spider tumor (lovely), and my ex-boyfriend and currently friend is sectioned in a mental hospital as he has nowhere else to go nor anyone to turn to either, as the NHS is not really helping.
Happy new year!! I am hysterical. yet nobody knows. Is great. This are my very useful steps do a demented life:
1: Pretend you are Superman. Or Mr Freeze.
2: Drag yourself to your own to concerts, galleries, restaurants (only on day time), cinema (only afternoons with either frankfurters or ice-cream, so you seem to embrace your inner child-acceptable today). The plus side is you are only depending on yourself and not have to look after crazy or drunk "friends".
3:Pretend you have a new, ever so very strict regime and joining/ giving several vices and make sure nobody sees you have change nothing, are you truly are your normally your ever self- just with added de nile- game. ( semantic fault on purpose).
AND FOUR: start dating losers who will never call you again after you slept with them because A): you're not their type; B) you did not have full blown sex since you thought it might be better to wait for date number three (nor to mentions you forgotten what sex was. i know Green And Blacks is rather orgasmic. And C): They thought you're OK but commitment wasn't what i was looking for in the first place since i am on an internet website. Surprising. And me too.
All of it fascinating.
But hey, i headlined this blog-post with my mother dying bit so i guess that we should roll the curtain and talk about the elephant (or blue whale in my case ) in the room.
You see i am a child of a single parent. So sad! Terrible! Where do i get my morals and ethics from, and ever more important, where do i get my man influence from?
Fret not. I didn't have a mother. I had three. As for father figure, i had my brother. As he is eleven years older i guess he qualifies. My older sister is two years older than my brother and thinks the Sun rises at her left side and sets down at her right. If this is not older sibling syndrome i know nothing about psychology ( flash news, i do). And there's the middle of nowhere. My younger sister. She is only 5 years older than me. But by God that's an eternity in terms of growing up. She was a teenager when i was a child. NOT good. Plus she thought she was posh. Bad, bad combination.
OK, to be fair as we are all over 38 we have come to understand each other pretty well. Is called stating your ground as it always been about who is more powerful. My oldest sister had that priviledge till the rest got tired of being flung about like a rag doll. Now is the war of the worlds in a sibling way.
My brother has been castrated due to self -guilt and alcohol abuse ( latest i heard he's teetotal. do i hear angels blowing), my younger sister has been through depression and being bitter about being zero to the left and thus feels she is crap and useless) which is of course bullshit), and my powerhouse of my older sister which is very intelligent yet stuck in the past (that would be the 70's) and ever so stuborn and has got an anger problem. Could be physical (thyroid) or mental (abused).
SO here's whas't next: we need to decide what kind of funeral my mother will have. Should it be small, or darling and massive? Should i have black suits (really? ) or feather boas? Desitions and so and fortth.
I love my family. I have been raised to think that way. To i tolerate them? Sure. Do i agree with them?
Hell no!!. a battle is to ensured, but i would not have it any other way. The fun thing about my immediate family is that they never cease to entertainment me, shock me and give a massive spice of life i would miss if i never had it.
Keep tune for more drama. AX
